Life strikes existence so silently,
and finds its path in the warmth of the sun,
until the fallen leaves hide it so quietly,
and darkness settles where there was none.
domingo, 28 de dezembro de 2014
sexta-feira, 12 de dezembro de 2014
Ego and Self-improvement
In my limited experience, I find two important problems that disturb human relationships. The first one is ego; the second one is the distorted idea of self-improvement.
Ego is related to the nourishment of a superior and prideful self - someone who is too inflated to be wrong cannot possibly have a mindset for positive change. To have the courage, humility and honesty to admit errors is crucial for anyone who cares more about healthy relationships than showing-off a pitiful, self-righteous image.
The distorted idea of self-improvement is connected to the idea that "I behave a certain way, sometimes positively and sometimes negatively, and anyone dealing with me should deal with me in both cases". This is only partially true - as I see it, a person has certain positive and negative attitudes, which arise as a mix of both internal and external circunstances. Internal circunstances are mainly dictated by genetic predispositions; external circunstances are deeply related with education and upbringing. Any person should attempt to discover what characteristics, both intrinsic and extrinsic, are harmful and negative, recognizing that these not only affect the self, but also relationships. If I am generally a jealous person, and I realize that this has caused me problems in past relationships, my attitude should not be "I will find someone who can deal with me this way", but rather "this is not good for me nor for others, and I will be a lot happier if I alleviate this condition - this will surely make my relationships more successful as a consequence". To analyze yourself critically and know what characteristics are worth improving for yourself and for others, instead of lazily waiting for someone to accept all the flaws you carry with you, shows true wisdom when it comes to personal and emotional development.
Ego is related to the nourishment of a superior and prideful self - someone who is too inflated to be wrong cannot possibly have a mindset for positive change. To have the courage, humility and honesty to admit errors is crucial for anyone who cares more about healthy relationships than showing-off a pitiful, self-righteous image.
The distorted idea of self-improvement is connected to the idea that "I behave a certain way, sometimes positively and sometimes negatively, and anyone dealing with me should deal with me in both cases". This is only partially true - as I see it, a person has certain positive and negative attitudes, which arise as a mix of both internal and external circunstances. Internal circunstances are mainly dictated by genetic predispositions; external circunstances are deeply related with education and upbringing. Any person should attempt to discover what characteristics, both intrinsic and extrinsic, are harmful and negative, recognizing that these not only affect the self, but also relationships. If I am generally a jealous person, and I realize that this has caused me problems in past relationships, my attitude should not be "I will find someone who can deal with me this way", but rather "this is not good for me nor for others, and I will be a lot happier if I alleviate this condition - this will surely make my relationships more successful as a consequence". To analyze yourself critically and know what characteristics are worth improving for yourself and for others, instead of lazily waiting for someone to accept all the flaws you carry with you, shows true wisdom when it comes to personal and emotional development.
Subscrever:
Mensagens (Atom)